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shutupaubrey:

I’m so glad flappy bird ended before there was legitimate merchandise made like angry birds

(via okay)

girl:babe come over
boy:I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
girl:my parents aren't home
boy:I know

doyoufind-this-distracting:

hotch0colate:

doyoufind-this-distracting:

i hate it on text posts when someone copies someone’s comment and make it bold or puts it in italics, yeah we read it the first time 

we read it the first time

u think ur funny???????

gaaraofsburbia:

applecranberry:

ruraljackdaw:

thetowndrugdealer:

*sucks guys dick*
*dies of nut allergy*

did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy

now I do

(via bacon-bacon-pancakes)

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